It is what it is
Saturday 15 August 2020 | 6:33 pm
i thought November 2020 has passed. i still remember how painful it was when you told me you were into someone at that time. but it didn’t work out. i stayed even when it hurts me so bad to know the truth, and im not giving up because i want to be there for you. i HATE seeing you at your lowest. so we moved on from it, follow the flow; we went through the hard times together, and we made it. i can’t believe its been 3 years since the last time we went through that painful experience. i thought we were free from it.
but now, after 3 years, a new person has come into our lives, and its even more painful and the worst feeling i’ve ever had than before. the longer i know you, the more it hurts to hold on. i care for you more than anyone ever asked for, and its killing me. remember when i tried to find someone else? had a crush on him; i wasn’t meant to find someone else, but you insisted. because you want me to move on and find my own happiness. because you don’t want me to have feelings for you anymore. i did find that person. but it didn’t work out as well. you want me to be happy without knowing you’re my true happiness. i am happy with your existence. your existence itself makes me the HAPPIEST, haven’t you felt or seen that??
and where were you when i needed you the most? when i was at my lowest? you already seem to be replacing me with someone else. do all the things we did together with her. you know what hurts me the most? seeing you with her talking and getting close gives me flashbacks of how we first met and started talking. the same thing happened to you and her. THAT’s what hurts me the most. and i don't know, im slowly feeling left out. and lost. and im in so much pain that i don’t want to keep living my life if it doesn’t include you in it. im devastated. i feel like you’re slowly pushing me away. im so upset.
do you know what you are worth? you changed my life for the better, and you don’t know that. all my life has been all about you ever since. you’re worth every bit of my time, energy or even money i spent. i don’t blame you, its just me; im the problem. im the one who needs you all the time FOR MYSELF because i get used to having you around. im sorry you don’t feel the same, so you thought that ALL THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND ME; everything HAS to be my way. if only you had the same feelings as i do, you would understand and never even think of saying that to me.
why are we trying to be mean to each other? we had each other’s back for years; we went through years together—the laughter, the stupid jokes that only WE understand, the sadness, the pain, the struggles, the hard work, the sacrifices we made for each other. do we want all that for nothing? do we not mean that much to each other? have you ever questioned that in your heart? or is it just me..
there’s so much more i want to say, but
It is what it is
Saturday 15 August 2020 @ 6:33 pm
i thought November 2020 has passed. i still remember how painful it was when you told me you were into someone at that time. but it didn’t work out. i stayed even when it hurts me so bad to know the truth, and im not giving up because i want to be there for you. i HATE seeing you at your lowest. so we moved on from it, follow the flow; we went through the hard times together, and we made it. i can’t believe its been 3 years since the last time we went through that painful experience. i thought we were free from it.
but now, after 3 years, a new person has come into our lives, and its even more painful and the worst feeling i’ve ever had than before. the longer i know you, the more it hurts to hold on. i care for you more than anyone ever asked for, and its killing me. remember when i tried to find someone else? had a crush on him; i wasn’t meant to find someone else, but you insisted. because you want me to move on and find my own happiness. because you don’t want me to have feelings for you anymore. i did find that person. but it didn’t work out as well. you want me to be happy without knowing you’re my true happiness. i am happy with your existence. your existence itself makes me the HAPPIEST, haven’t you felt or seen that??
and where were you when i needed you the most? when i was at my lowest? you already seem to be replacing me with someone else. do all the things we did together with her. you know what hurts me the most? seeing you with her talking and getting close gives me flashbacks of how we first met and started talking. the same thing happened to you and her. THAT’s what hurts me the most. and i don't know, im slowly feeling left out. and lost. and im in so much pain that i don’t want to keep living my life if it doesn’t include you in it. im devastated. i feel like you’re slowly pushing me away. im so upset.
do you know what you are worth? you changed my life for the better, and you don’t know that. all my life has been all about you ever since. you’re worth every bit of my time, energy or even money i spent. i don’t blame you, its just me; im the problem. im the one who needs you all the time FOR MYSELF because i get used to having you around. im sorry you don’t feel the same, so you thought that ALL THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND ME; everything HAS to be my way. if only you had the same feelings as i do, you would understand and never even think of saying that to me.
why are we trying to be mean to each other? we had each other’s back for years; we went through years together—the laughter, the stupid jokes that only WE understand, the sadness, the pain, the struggles, the hard work, the sacrifices we made for each other. do we want all that for nothing? do we not mean that much to each other? have you ever questioned that in your heart? or is it just me..
there’s so much more i want to say, but
